If you’ve always wanted a car you can drive into the ocean (and not just to claim the insurance), then you’re not alone.
Swiss car designer Frank Rinderknecht has dreamed of having one ever since he saw James Bond drive into the ocean in The Spy Who Loved Me. At least that’s what he’s telling us. He may have just been sick of getting his car towed out of the lake whenever he drove home from the pub.
For those of you who haven’t seen the movie (and can’t find a copy on the Internet), Bond drives his Lotus Turbo Esprit into the ocean to escape from the evil villain Jaws, who wants the name of his orthodontist.
Anyway, Mr Rinderknecht has designed his own underwater car based on the Lotus Elise, presumably to make it more appealing to females. And if you think I’m going to make a joke about females and driving into water, then you obviously aren’t married.
The $A1.7m sQuba, so named because his keyboard wasn’t working properly, can reach speeds of 120km/h on land - even more if you’re a P plater. But when you drive it into water (”Just dipping the headlights!”) it floats and becomes a boat, though you’ll need to supply your own tackle and bait. Propellers on either side of the rear number plate push you along at up to 6km/h, which gives the crocodiles a bit of exercise before they start chewing off the tyres.
The real fun starts when you open one of the doors and the car starts to dive. Unlike Bond’s car, this one’s open-topped because Mr Rinderknecht couldn’t make it watertight. Instead, he’s fitted oxygen tanks behind the seats (oxygen sold separately) that you can use like a scuba tank. So depending on how fast you’re sinking… I mean diving, you’re got about a minute to fit the mouthpiece before you drown and become fish bait. (”Now available at your local pet store: Yuppies for Guppies.”)
I can’t see any mention of goggles, which means once people go underwater they’ll be driving with their eyes closed - the same as they do on the road.
According to the “fact file”, the car can dive to a maximum of 10 metres. I guess if you go any deeper the car sends its location to James Cameron for his next movie. (Be sure to wear a nice piece of jewellery.)
The target market is obviously rich parents whose teenagers like to get drunk, take the car for a spin and wind up in the backyard swimming pool. But if I had one I’d take it for a dive, then pull over somewhere and call roadside assistance. When the guy pulls up I’d open the car door and, ignoring the gallons of water pouring onto the road, say, “I think it’s flooded”.
And then I’d run like hell, because the crocodiles will be sick of rubber.